How To Keep Your Marriage Alive AFTER Kids

Written By: Courtney W.

I am a mother of 4 kids all under the age of 5! Man is it hard to find time to spend with my husband, but the need is so important!


Some ways I have found that help in keeping your marriage alive are:

1. Make sure you have at least one date night during the week, that you and your husband can spend together! Even if it's just renting a movie and ordering take out!
You can put the kids to bed early and have the whole evening to spend together.



2. Always think of ways you can show your husband that you put him first. Your husband should be #1 ALWAYS!!!! So many times kids can take "first" place above your man, if you are not careful! However, nothing kills a marriage more than this. Your kids should grow up knowing that their dad is the most important person and takes priority above them. For the kids, it establishes a relationship that they will aspire to have with their
spouse one day! It gives them a sense of security knowing that their parents are totally committed to one another! For my husband, it gives them a sense of respect and honor. When a wife feels respected and honored (and vice-versa), you have the recipe for a long lasting, loving marriage! It's the key!

3. Talk to your spouse about things other than just your kids when you are alone together! You need to be reminded that you are still fun, cool people apart from kids! I know it sounds funny but you can get so wrapped up in being parents that it's easy to forget what attracted you to each other in the first place.


4. Have fun with sex! Even though you have been married for awhile, don't get stuck in a rut with the same ol' same ol'! Make it fun! Remember what it was like to have sex before kids? Then re-create that! The spontaneity of it all, the passion. JUST DO IT! Also, when you don't feel like it and are totally not in the mood....something my mom always said, just tell your brain to get in the mood! Your husband needs this and you may not feel like giving it to them, but you need too! As you give in, you actually will find yourself
enjoying it too! (Trust me...I know!!!)


5.. Be spontaneous!!! With EVERYTHING!!! Sex, dates, days out with the kids. Just have fun! Switch it up a little every week! This will help keep things from getting in such a rut!
6. Allow each other to go on girl/guy night outs! Maybe not every week (but I highly suggest it), but at least twice a month. You need time where you can just be around your friends and talk to the same sex about life and other things. This is so important! All moms need to have a time where they can go out and talk to other moms, or friends about anything and everything! For dads it's the same thing. This will bring an appreciation for one another and grow you closer as a couple just by having a night out alone! Funny how that works :)

These are just a few things that me and my husband do to help keep our marriage alive after having 4 kids! It takes work but it's well worth it! I love being married!